after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
