i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
