So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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