ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Randomize
