new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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