P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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