dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
