ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Enjoy the penises
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize