I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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