I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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