At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize