Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize