dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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