How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
