Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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