A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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