I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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