Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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