fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i love accidental penises.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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