you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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