I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
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