The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
