After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
