it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
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I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
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