i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
