he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize