He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
