we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
