i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
