I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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