I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
