Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
