What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
