When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
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my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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