bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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