Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
