Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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