it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
BRING THE BAGELS
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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