I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize