Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
