Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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