I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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