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You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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