to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
