what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
