Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
