Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize