So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
