I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
