I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
