He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
