so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
