I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize