Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize