Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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