We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
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he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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