This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
