I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
